


Memories and Living

by jaimistoryteller



Series: Moments in Another Life [2]
Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Gen, Protective Alec, Protective Double-O's, Reflection, Transgender Q, character cameos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 16:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimistoryteller/pseuds/jaimistoryteller
Summary: Living with memories can sometimes be hard, but having hope and friends can make things so much better





	1. Flashbacks

**Author's Note:**

> Based on prompts from [General Prompt Table 10](http://jaimistoryteller.tumblr.com/post/162379048040/007-fest-prompt-tables)

Alec’s POV

He can remember being dropped. He can remember the terror and serenity of the falling. But that’s it. He doesn’t know how he survived the drop. He doesn’t know how he survived the dish exploding. He doesn’t know how he came to be in the care of Jared Ashley.

The first thing he can remember about waking up was the low throbbing in his entire body. The ache as if he hasn’t used his muscles in months. As if his entire body wasn’t his own. His skin pulled tight over muscles and bone and sinew.

He hadn’t wanted to be alive. Not once he realized what had happened. That his James killed him. Twice now. He even tried ending his own life but Jared stopped him.

So he lived. Learned how to be Alec Trevelyan, civilian, when he had no clue how not to be an apex predator. He healed, slowly but surely, relearning all of the physical movements and actions that he had lost to the explosion. He got used to the new scars and slowly gained his range of motion back.

When he was healed to the point where he could move around without assistance and didn’t need someone to help care for him, Jared packed him up and sent him to London of all places. There he met Jared’s younger brother, Quara, who tends to go by Q, and Jared’s uncle Michael, who he recognizes from MI6.

To say it wasn’t a smooth transition is probably an understatement.

Even though he likes Q and Jared, he had been considering killing Michael to keep the fact he used to be an agent hidden. Right up until Q got in his face with a softly snarled, “This will be the last time I say this: we are not your enemy, now calm the fuck down!”

He had stared at the younger man for what felt like hours before nodding curtly. He’s always appreciated a strong willed dark haired man. Q definitely qualifies.

Michael had just sat back and watched him with unreadable gray eyes, not saying anything until the hacker had left the room. “He’s right you know, we’re not your enemy. I remember what happened back then. It was fishy. I told the old M that, but he died and we had three different M’s in the following eight years before we finally got the female M with the spine of steel.”

He nodded slowly, understanding the second meaning, and retreated to the bedroom he was given with the retired agent. All things considered, this could have gone a lot worse. Even now he looks back on how it went, and can only feel relief that things went as well as they had. 


	2. Dancing

Q’s POV

For his twenty-first birthday he decided to go dancing. His uncle hadn’t been thrilled with the idea. Rather concerned that someone might try something since he is on the slender side and doesn’t look like he can hold his own in a fight. His mum had simply kissed his forehead and told him to be careful. 

Of course, he totally could, too many years spent living with his uncle who made sure to drill safety measures into his head. Not to mention his mum and her terror of them being found by the Centre. 

So he’s surprised when Alec offers to go with him. He’s well aware the ex-agent isn’t the fondest of crowds or people. Yes, his friend has taken well to working as a legal aide to his uncle but he’s pretty sure that is mostly because he does recon rather than actually working as a typical aide. 

They end up going to three different clubs until he finds one that he likes, and they spend the evening dancing together. It’s all sorts of fun, nothing he ever expected. After all, why would he expect an ex-spy who doesn’t like people to be willing to dance the night away? With him? 

He’s well aware that he’s not ‘passing’ as some say. Even with hormone blockers, he is often told he is ‘feminine’ and plenty of strangers have joked about the fact ‘he should have been a girl’. He doesn’t tell them what his birth certificate says. That’s not their business. Well. What it would say if his mum hadn’t made sure she has the only copy of it. So there isn’t actually a public record of what he was born as. 

Instead he is merely himself, his family having been supportive since he announced as a preteen that he wasn’t a girl. They hadn’t acted like there is something wrong with him, and they hadn’t tried convincing him he was going through a phase. Since he was homeschooled, he didn’t have to worry about outsiders trying to deny it or treat him weird for it. 

By the end of the evening he had felt like his friendship with the ex-spy was stronger than it had been at the beginning of. It would be the first of many time they would out dancing together. Often changing where they were going, or visiting a favorite depending on their moods and whose idea it is to go out. 

Even now, as the quartermaster of MI6, he makes it a point to spend at least two night a month out dancing with his long time best friend. Of course, work doesn’t always allow him to spend the entire night dancing or sometimes results in them having to reschedule, a fact Alec understands since he used to work in the exact same business. 

He’s also come home on a couple of occasions where he wasn’t able to go out with his friend, to find the fairy lights in his living room lit up, dinner made, and music playing. Instead of going out to dance, they’d have a few turns around his living room and just enjoy spending time together away from others. 

He really does appreciate his best  friend. 


	3. Staying

Alec’s POV

Nearly a decade after waking up to Jared at his bedside, he still couldn’t say when or why he decided to stay with the family. 

Maybe it was when Jared had boredly listed everything wrong with him and everything that had already been dealt with. Perhaps it when the dark haired chameleon had helped him day after day without asking for something. Or was it when he was packed up and shipped to London where he met Q and Michael? 

There’s times he’s pretty sure that it was after that snarling match where barely adult Q had gotten in his face and told him to calm down as if he wasn’t a threat. Other times he thinks it was after watching the younger man training with Michael, learning how to defend himself from an ex-Double-O who seemed to always have patience, with everyone, much to his amazement. 

Then there are times he’s sure there wasn’t an exact decision to stay. He simply stayed because he had nowhere else to go or where he was wanted. 

He doesn’t regret staying, after all, it gave him a chance to be friends with the dynamic genius that is Q. Friends, yes they’re friends. Sometimes he wonders if it could be something more. Other times he hopes it never is. 

There was something more between him and James, look how that ended. 

Logically he knows the relationships aren’t even close to comparable. That doesn’t stop him from wondering _what if_? What if he asked Q to dinner as more than a friend? What if when they have a night out dancing or in spending time together, he cupped the younger man’s jaw and pressed their lips together? What if he said something, anything, about the fact he’d like to be more than friends? There are so many _what if_ scenarios have crossed his mind in the years since he got to know the dark haired genius. So many times he has stopped himself from saying anything about it. He’s not willing to risk what he has, the stability he didn’t have before nearly dying for a second time at James’ hands, just to see what the hacker would say. 

No, it’s definitely better this way. They remain friends, good friends, the best of friends even. He can provide support and a willing ear to listen to any ranting the younger man needs to do no matter the topic. He’ll stay for as long as he is welcome. Probably even a little longer holding out hope. His welcome is something he eventually expects to fade into nothingness, he’s expected it since pretty much since the beginning. Until then, well, he really is a glutton for punishment as some would say. 

Besides, working with Michael is a real treat since his fellow ex-spy understands him in a way that a civilian never would. That’s definitely another bonus to staying. But being truthful, it’s only a side bonus. 

The real reason will probably always have something to do with Q. Even if he never finds the exact words to use. He still knows and accepts it. 


	4. New Job

Q’s POV

His uncle was friends with the previous Q, a man named Major Boothroyd, who had offered him a job after spending close to ten hours interviewing him. Even then, it was a trial job, to see exactly how well he would be able to work under pressure and with others since there are precisely no records for him anywhere.

It wasn’t until the explosion that killed the good major that he learned he wasn’t being given a trial run as a tech or in R&D. No, what he learns is the fact he was the major’s choice as the next Q. With the old man’s backing, M accepted that decision and he went from being on a trial run to actually running the branch. His first task will be to rebuild the branch since the building is gone.

He had been in the Research and Development lab working on one of his projects when the building had rocked. The internal alarms had gone off. Everyone in the lab had immediately filled towards the exits in case there was a second explosion. Thankfully, there was only the one explosion but it had been brutal. Everyone on the upper floors had been injured or died. It was only by chance that there wasn’t more deaths.

When M had gotten there, she had called him over. Well, technically she had one of the staff inform him that she wished to have a word with him. She had informed him in the ruins of the building that he was to become the next Q and that he might wish to start gathering his people to see who has been killed, injured, is missing or fine.

It was a rather long day, and he had missed his dance date with Alec, but had sent off a quick message to tell his longtime friend he wasn’t going to make it. It was the next day before he finally felt like he could leave and go home. Only he was so keyed up, he had headed to his uncle’s home rather than his flat. There he found his mum, uncle and Alec waiting for him. They had dinner together before his mum and uncle had went up to bed, leaving him with the sardonyx blonde.

It was almost as if a dam had broken. Sorrow had raced through him. He didn’t understand the senseless killing of so many people. Not just the agents and employees of MI6 but the deaths of the civilians nearby that weren’t part of that world.

Alec had wrapped him in firm arms and held him as he cried then plotted with him as the tears faded and the rage took it’s place. How dare someone do something so foolish?

He’d rebuild the branch from the ground up, provide support to the agents and make sure the intel was the best they could get. The responsible party would pay, and pay dearly if he had anything to say about it.

It wasn’t until much later that he thought about how natural it felt to have Alec’s arms around him. That thought had caused him to actually think about his relationship with the ex-spy. This wasn’t the first time he’s felt right, natural even, with Alec’s arms around him. He loves spending time with the sardonyx blonde. When he’s not working he can often be found lounging on one of Alec’s sofas or with Alec at his place. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing together. Whether sitting in silence, dancing or eating, just being around each other feels right.

Only he doesn’t know whether the sardonyx blonde feels the same way about him. He doesn’t know how to ask either. 


	5. Late Night

Alec’s POV

Just a little before a year after Q is promoted from minion to head of the branch, he gets a message from the younger man telling him that Q’s going to be a bit on the late side. One of the agents has decided that being an idiot is the best course of action even though it really isn’t.

Since he can remember his own time as an agent, the lack of trust and not liking to listen to people behind the scenes who don’t have a clue about what on the ground missions can be like, he definitely understands exactly what his friend is talking about. He immediately messages the hacker, telling him that he’ll be at the younger man’s home and to just come directly there after work and send him an ETA so he will know when it finish cooking.

He knows it will probably be dark, the sun long faded beneath the horizon when the Q will be on the way. That’s probably a good thing as he’s well aware of his friend’s dislike for sunshine, mostly because it hurts the younger man’s eyes.

So he picks up the supplies to make Q’s favorites and heads over to the flat. He lets himself in, taking the time to feed the cats before getting the majority of the cooking out of the way so he won’t have much to do when the dark haired genius gets home. While the food cooks, he turns on the fairy lights and makes a nest on the sofa with the reclining chair section out so the younger man can get comfortable.

He’s just finished with the prep work when he gets a message from Q that he’s on the way.

Well then, he might as well finish cooking their meal. He’s just finishing up when he hears the door unlock and the younger man enters the flat.

“Alec?” Q calls out softly.

“Get comfortable on the sofa,” he replies as he starts making their plates.

“‘Kay,” the younger man agrees.

A few minutes later they are comfortably seated  on the sofa, Q is stretched out on the recliner, he’s sitting in the spot next to him, long legs stretched out in the other direction. Both of them have plates on their laps and there’s a folding table in front of him that both can easily reach in order to grab their drinks. It’s peaceful and they spend a while simply enjoying each other’s companionship.

“There are times I feel like strangling them,” Q mutters after finishing his plate and setting it on the small table.

He nods in understanding, he can remember how much havoc his generation of spies caused, so it makes sense that a new generation is just as annoying at times.

“One of the idiots grabbed my ass, I broke his arm in response,” the younger man continues, head resting on the back of the sofa. “M was not thrilled with my method of dealing.”

Something hot and sharp makes him want to track the idiot down and do more than just break a bone. He doesn’t say that however because he promised years ago never to treat Q like he’s weaker or unable to defend himself. “Good,” he just about growls.

Rolling his head on the sofa towards him, the dark haired genius studies him for a long moment before the scowl fades away to the suggestion of a smile instead.

He can feel his own lips twitching upwards in the hints of a smile in response.

“Thanks,” Q states softly, sincerely.

He’s not sure why he’s being thanked, so he just nods once.

That seems to be it for the ranting. The smaller man shifts around a bit so their sides are tucked together, head resting on his shoulder and eyes drifting shut.

He smiles, closing his own eyes and just relaxing. He’ll be here in any form Q needs, whether someone to vent at or someone to cuddle with. That’ll be enough. It has to be. 


	6. Good Aim

Q’s POV

A week after he broke William’s arm, he gets to provide gear and support to Bond while on an information gathering mission. He’s sure it won’t go as smoothly as it could. For reasons known only to the Fates, every single 007 has had a wild streak that causes more havoc and mischief than not. He finds it intriguing that the current Bond is actually the great nephew of the first 007 agent when the unit was originally made to deal with the threat to national security. 

Mostly he works on other projects and gathering information using the satellites, both those that belong to the British government and those he borrows from other governments without bothering to ask. After all, if they don’t know he’s doing it, he’s definitely not going to tell them. 

He also picks up close to everything sound wise around the spy since he modified the earpiece. 

He sighs when the gun fight and explosions happen, because why can’t James just behave for once? Is there a reason that nearly every mission the bloody man goes on ends up being a bigger mess that predicted by those in charge. Not him, he expects messes when dealing with Double-O’s, most of them are too fond of BOOM for there not to be messes. 

“Hello again, Mr. Bond,” an unfamiliar voice states and he immediately starts working on a voice identification. 

That’s made unnecessary a moment later as he hears the Walther fire. 

Still, he better ask rather than assume something, “Is everything under control?”

Instead of a verbal response, he gets a picture of a dead man he can run through facial recognition. 

“That answers that question,” he hums distractedly as he reads the information on the spy turned traitor. Not a member of the Double-O’s but he was declared dead five years ago after a car bomb supposedly killed him, remains to badly burnt for DNA or an accurate identification. 

Since the primary problem seems to be dead, he orders the agent to finish up and make his flight back before going silent again. 

The relay that he sent with Bond gives him plenty of information to analyze as he keeps the line open incase something comes up. He’ll go home after the spy is back on a plane and on his way to London once more. It’s no different than what he’d do for any agent. After all, they’re his responsibility, even if they don’t realize or respect that fact. 


	7. Risk Assessment

Q’s POV

It takes him nearly a month to finish going through all the documents and information that was loaded during the last mission. He’s well aware that there are others also processing it, but he is looking for something different than them. They are assessing it as threats to the nation and public, he is assessing it as threats to his agents. What he determines is who is behind the recent influx of traitors and computer hackers attempting to break into his system. 

As he can only see one way to deal with it, he keeps his mouth shut and makes his plans. He’ll ask Jared for assistance, his elder brother excels at deep cover work, the same way he does when he puts his mind to it, but he’s been playing a part here, to keep that part of his nature hidden. He doesn’t trust those he works with enough to let them know that he can become anyone if he needs to. They’d probably want him in field work if that information came to light and that’s not something he desires. 

After he leaves the building, he calls his brother using the encryption code for their private darknet server, untraceable and untappable. A safety measure considering both their careers. 

‘ _Hey Q, what can I do for you?_ ’ His brother asks as he answers the phone. 

“I need some advice and possibly some help,” he answers before outlining his plan as he keeps walking, keeping a close eye out for anyone following him and using the London’s CCTV system as a warning as well since his second phone is synced up to receive information.

When he is done explaining the situation, his brother whistles and takes a few minutes to actually speak. ‘ _That’s not actually something I’d suggest you do. If you can hold off a week, I can be there to assist since it is something I’m trained in._ ’ 

He nods before remembering that Jared can’t see him nodding. “That’ll work. It gives me time to make all the arrangements and build a cover that goes with. See you then.”

‘ _Stay safe,_ ’ his brother tells him before the line goes silent. 

He should probably tell his uncle and Alec about the plan, but he’s pretty sure that both of them would protest his using himself as bait, which is pretty much what this accounts to. He’ll leave a note on his laptop that will automatically send to Alec in case things go wrong. He should probably tell Mallory as well, but right now he’s trying to figure out how to deal with M’s curiosity regarding who he really is. 

It’s for the greater good, what he’s planning, there is no reason to risk people who might not get the job done when he knows that they can get the job done and with the minimum loss of life. Boy does he see a lecture in his near future. He’s just not sure where it’s going to come from. Most likely his mum, because his uncle will just shake his head and Alec will give him that troubled look he still hasn’t managed to figure out. 


	8. Problems

Alec’s POV

He knows something’s up when Jared shows up late one evening. As a rule, Q’s older brother doesn’t visit. So for the mimic to just be there, well, it makes every instinct he developed as a spy flare to life. According to Michael’s expression, it makes his spy instincts flare up as well.

Neither brother says anything about it however, which makes it worse, because why are they not telling them? There is a voice in the back of his mind, the one that reminded him often of the fact James betrayed him, that wonders if Q doesn’t trust him. He thought the hacker did, but sometimes, there are little things the younger man does that makes him think otherwise. Like calling Jared when there is a situation rather than speak with him about it.

Five days later, after he hadn’t seen the hacker for the last three, he gets an email outlining what happened and why Jared is there. Along with an apology for not telling him in person.

Pure terror rushes through his system as he reads the file. What the hell was Q and Jared even thinking? That situation would be better for one of the agents, probably best if it was a Double-O, not a hacker and his brother. He ignores the fact that Jared’s training and mind makes him just as dangerous as any Double-O.

Instead he prints the letter off and takes it to Michael, knowing the older spy has an arsenal around here and wanting him to know why it’s about to raided.

Immediately Michael leads him to it, grimly telling him to use anything that he thinks is needed. He's in the process of picking out what will be the most useful when they are interrupted by the door bell.

“I’ll go see who it is,” his host tells him as the retired spy limps away. Probably realizing it wouldn’t be wise to go on the retrieval mission he’s already plotting. He knows how much it burns to feel useless but there is nothing he can do to lessen the impact of it.

He’s surprised when Michael comes back with three other people, two women and a man, all of which give off the predator vibe, though the one with dark brown eyes is a different type than the other two.

“Apparently his job got a similar and less detailed letter, this one was sent to speak with me about it, and those two decided that they were interfering as well since they like Q.” Michael informs him with a touch of dark amusement lacing his voice.

He shrugs, not planning on working with the trio since he doesn’t know them.

“Listen, I can assume based on the fact that Mr. Ashley here is an ex-agent so are you. I don’t know you, I don’t care to know you, but I want Q back.” The second woman, the one with gray eyes, informs him. “Now. Can we share info and fetch him?”

He turns to study them, weighing his options and deciding that help may be needed considering who and where Q said he was going. He lifts his chin in a partial nod that Michael gets before grabbing the email and handing to the brown eyed woman.

She reads through it, and then reads it again before groaning, rubbing a hand across her eyes as she pass it to the other woman.

“Bloody hell, doesn’t he tell us all the time we need to trust him but doesn’t actually trust us?” The second woman snarls as she drops it on the table. “I’m giving him a good long lecture on that Eve.”

“I think you’ll need to get in line,” the man with them states, studying them closely and not bothering to look at the papers.

He’s right about that, there’s a line.

“Right, well boys, plan of action?” Not-Eve asks as she discretely eyes the weapons stash and checks her own if he’s not misreading the way her hands are straightening already tidy clothing.

“I get to go update Mallory,” Eve answers with a small frown. “And tell R what’s happening to see if she can provide additional information.”

“Find him and kill anyone between us and him,” the man replies shortly.

“I can agree with that plan,” he hums as he closes the safe.

Snorting, not-Eve remarks, “You do remember he doesn’t like unnecessary bloodshed?”

“He can hiss at us later, after we’re done yelling at him for putting himself in a position we had to go in to fetch him.” The man retorts, “What do we know about this Jared?”

“Q’s brother, he has a unique set of skills that generally gets him out of any sort of situation.” He answers shortly. “I’m going to have a few words with him as well, for going along with the plan and not enlisting help.”

The three agents nod in agreement.  

They are heading towards the door when his phone suddenly rings. Frowning, he pulls it from his pocket, noticing it’s an unknown number. He clicks answer but says nothing, waiting to see how the person on the other end is going to act.

‘ _You don’t know me, Mr. Trevelyan, however you do know my brothers. According to a  message I received this morning, you are in need of my assistance. Please acquire an earpiece from one of the agents to your left. It will be easier than using the phone._ ’ An unknown voice informs him dryly.

He glances over before shrugging and asking, “Do any of you have an extra earpiece?”

The man tugs a small case out of his pocket and passes it over, “Q always gives me two cause I tend to break them.”

He slips it in and immediately the voice transfers over, ‘ _Excellent. Now then, listen up._ ’

According to the expression on the other three’s faces, they heard the unknown man as well. That doesn’t matter. He’ll ask Q about the stranger later. After they get him back and he has a really long chat with the dark haired genius.


	9. Bad Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING** Reference potential rape

Q’s POV

This did not go the way it was supposed to. How in the hell he missed the fact the organization had their own mimics he doesn’t know. There aren’t a lot of people like them out there. A relatively small quantity of people who were both geniuses and chameleons. A lot of folks have one or the other, but rarely both, particularly at the levels they work at. 

Things went wrong when the mimic with the target recognized Jared from the Centre. It had just gone down hill from there. 

“I think they have finally figured out what they want to do to us,” he mutters as he watches their guards.

“This definitely isn’t how I expected things to go,” his brother replies, eyes never leaving the guards. “Think your assassin has gotten concerned yet?”

“Well, has it been three days?” he asks softly, making sure not to be overheard. 

“Yeah, internal clock says we’re going into day four.” Jared answers softly, curiosity tinting his voice. 

“Then yes, he’s been notified, as has Harold and Mallory.” He frowns, brows pulling together, “Although Mallory only got a brief, ‘things went wrong, sorry’ while the other two got complete explanations.”

Snorting, his brother glances at him, arching a dark brow in question.

“I fully expect Alec will fetch us and we’ll get yelled at.” He answers the unspoken question.

They fall quiet for a bit knowing that he’s not wrong but hoping that their friend actually gets there before something goes very wrong. Since he’s never had bottom surgery, he’s concerned about some of the actions these assholes might try. While most folks aren’t aware of his nature, and know him only as a man, he doesn’t put it past them to be considering one stupid thing and discover what he keeps to himself  and do something even stupider. 

Eventually the mimic enters the room, unchaining him and dragging him to his feet, instinctively he lashes out, slamming the ridge of his hand into the asshole’s throat even as he slams his foot down on the jackass’ foot. With his second hand he lifts the key to the cuffs. 

He’s immediately released and hops backwards, dropping the key into his brother’s hand as he does so. 

His eyes narrow in anger as he glares at the guards and the gasping mimic. 

“Don’t touch me again,” he snarls, voice low and furious.

Before they have a chance to respond, the sound of gunfire draws their attention and their captors leave, slamming the door behind them. 

Jared rises, shaking free the bonds as he does so. 

“It sounds like Alec’s here.” He comments as he cocks his head and listens. “Bond and Moore as well.”

Laughing, his brother shakes his head, “Leave it to you to recognize the sounds their weapons make.”

He shrugs, he specialized their guns, he’s intimately familiar with both. He’s just surprised that they are with Alec. He hadn’t expected his best friend to go to them for assistance. So Mallory must have sent them to see if their uncle knows anything about this situation. Now it’s just a question of why Alec would have worked with them. 

He leans against the wall, watching the door as he waits for their rescue. 

When the door opens, he almost beams at Alec’s familiar face. 

“We’re going to have a chat about this later,” the ex-spy informs him as hands carefully check him over to make sure he isn’t injured. Gray green eyes narrowing in distress when the handcuff marks are spotted. 

“Thank you Harold, now go away, I’ll call later,” he states, spotting the earpiece. 

Alec snorts but continues checking him before turning to glance at Jared but not checking him with the same sort of care. It’s definitely something he’ll have to think about later. Right now he just wants to get home and take a long shower. He feels nasty. 

**Author's Note:**

> Publishing schedule, I will try & update one or two stories on Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. For the 007 Fest there will be at least one Bond related story each day of the month of July. 
> 
> Tumblr about my writing [JaimiStoryTeller](http://jaimistoryteller.tumblr.com/money) and recently got a twitter to post about drawing & writing @jaimist0
> 
> I love reviews, comments, and any other sort of communication, feel free to stop in to say hi


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